Life of BB

Well now, here I am 40. I am not too sure why it's a big deal age. It doesn't feel any different than 39 =) I think it's a big deal because possibly you start to get more clarity of your life when it hits. You start to realize the importance of things. The importance in people who actually show up and the realization that some times regardless of how much YOU may care for others, they simply are too involved with themselves to show up. Live and learn. The people who spent their time with me are who matter most. And ya know what, I am okay with that ! 40 for me was a four day celebration. On my actual birthday my little trio went to the city to the Top of Rock. What an amazing view ! Such a cool thing to do.  We had dinner after but then the day was cut short by mother nature. No biggie ! The next day I shopped and then watched the sunset on the beach with my sister, her friend and my guys. Even had cupcakes ! Long Island may be overcrowded, but wow, what a life we hav...

You know how they say sounds or scents can bring you right back to where you were when you heard or smelled that scent??? The other day I heard a song I haven't in a while and realized I have so many of these ! Here are some songs from my time-line that will bring me right back to that moment. Clearly in no particular order. Underneath is All No Doubt reminds me of when I first met my husband Keith Walking on Sunshine when I found out I would be graduating high school, yea it was an iffy moment for me. Not my finest. Life is a Highway  Rascal Flats : the day I found out my cousin Kim had cancer this was playing in the church we used to attend, I played it on the way home that day and then we go the call America Pie Don Mclean :  probably the only memory I have of my father that isn't awful. We were getting gas, this song was on and he was whistling to it. Cold in the D old T'baby : reminds me of old co workers, on the first of each month we would play this, no...

It was a Thursday morning and I was brushing my teeth getting ready to bring Lil B to school. What seemed like the normal day routine for me was about to go completely south. As I began to scrape my tongue during brushing, I noticed, it was crooked. I wasn't doing it intentionally but every time I stuck out my tongue,  I saw the same thing. I proceeded on with my day, kept looking in the mirror to see same thing and just felt off. This was the beginning of a two day process that landed me in the ER the day of Lil B's graduation from pre K. Fast forward to Saturday and my house was filled with family celebrating Lil B, I still felt off and overly emotional. My speech felt odd, like I was grinding/gnashing my teeth when I spoke. When I ate, food would get stuck on side of my teeth and I just kept feeling this dreaded feeling. My sister in law encouraged me to go to the ER. Off my mother in law, sister and law and I went. Once we arrived, they went over my vitals and took one lo...

The other night I went to my dreaded dental appointment and chit chatted with my dentist about kids. (sidebar: Am I really this old that I am talking with others about kids !? LOL) Any how, we talked about how one of his kids will be graduating college and the other finishing their freshman year in college this year. He said to me it goes so, so fast. I replied with the standard, "sure, but some days are quite long right?" He chuckled and said, " yes, but those YEARS just go faster and faster." This got me thinking. I am in the thick of a spicy six year old. It's a constant battle of no patience on both of our ends. Some days I think to myself, "how on earth have I failed here?" I feel like I am in a constant push and pull with him. My husband and I are his playmates. He's in a stage where he would rather have us play a game with him, build with him, play super heroes with him, than play quietly on his own.  We don't mind it too much, but we ...

This past summer my world got a bit jostled. I wouldn't say "went upside down," cause I will save that term for darker days. But jostled fits. Things out of the norm happened, changing my entire perspective on life. Maybe one day I will share with the world the grim details, but for now here are my thoughts on something that felt awful  but turned quite beautiful. For many years I've always been hesitant to say out in the air how I loved my life, how I loved my surroundings and was happy. Why you might wonder? Because I felt each time I did, something went horribly wrong. The beginning of the summer I was dealing with finalizing preparations for my son's 504/ICHP for his school due to his food allergies. It took six months of emails, meetings and phone conversations. SIX MONTHS. When it was completed, it was almost like my body, my mind and soul just went into shock. This literally forced me to re evaluate so many things around me. It made me see who was in my...

We've looked forward for this day for a long time. We've practiced shapes, numbers, letters, math, spelling, kindness, sharing... the list goes on and on. But I am not ready. My sweet boy, you are about to go off into a world that can be kind and very ugly. I haven't told you of the ugly yet. It's something I hope you never see or experience but know you will. Mom and dad will be here for you every step of the way cheering you on, wiping any tears and loving you forever. First day of Pre K  First day of kindergarten                   His kindergarten photo shoot