This past summer my world got a bit jostled. I wouldn't say "went upside down," cause I will save that term for darker days. But jostled fits. Things out of the norm happened, changing my entire perspective on life. Maybe one day I will share with the world the grim details, but for now here are my thoughts on something that felt awful but turned quite beautiful. For many years I've always been hesitant to say out in the air how I loved my life, how I loved my surroundings and was happy. Why you might wonder? Because I felt each time I did, something went horribly wrong. The beginning of the summer I was dealing with finalizing preparations for my son's 504/ICHP for his school due to his food allergies. It took six months of emails, meetings and phone conversations. SIX MONTHS. When it was completed, it was almost like my body, my mind and soul just went into shock. This literally forced me to re evaluate so many things around me. It made me see who was in my...
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We've looked forward for this day for a long time. We've practiced shapes, numbers, letters, math, spelling, kindness, sharing... the list goes on and on. But I am not ready. My sweet boy, you are about to go off into a world that can be kind and very ugly. I haven't told you of the ugly yet. It's something I hope you never see or experience but know you will. Mom and dad will be here for you every step of the way cheering you on, wiping any tears and loving you forever. First day of Pre K First day of kindergarten His kindergarten photo shoot
I won't sugar coat it... it's exhausting. I wanted to give some insight on what I (we) deal with on a daily basis and maybe many of you who may be reading this. It's better to have a village right? First off, the planning. Lord, the planning. We can not eat at any new restaurant without calling ahead, speaking to the manager, possibly the chef, looking over the menu to find "safe" items, checking to see what may contain nuts that is fried in the same fryer of what our son would eat... There are no more eating places on a whim when it comes to places we go to with our son. Those days are reserved for my husband and I now. We must plan all the time. Any venue (concerts, plays, amusement parks, birthday parties etc.) we attend, we have to think of places that possible nuts might be, bring safe snacks, wipe down any surfaces that seem questionable for traces of nut proteins. We just want our kid to have fun and never be left out. I'd never let him miss...
A recent post that my sister in law wrote on FB got me thinking about this. Everything we seem to say we tend to have this insistent need to censor ourselves. We seem to always have to include a disclaimer on things we know could spark controversy or have someone possibly disagree with our actions. What for? Why can't we just live? I for one, know that people truly can't handle the truth (I do see how I sound like a 90's movie here) or possibly really don't want to hear it. I lived my 20s and most of my 30s in many friendships where I was very truthful with my actions and about theirs, and want to guess where those friendships are now??? It's just not worth it ! People don't like the truth. People like to see pretty pictures of our top hits on the Internet. Then, we take those pictures and manifest them into these grand moments. Moments we are pretty certain happen every day in the lives we view. Then bam ! We feel bad about our OWN lives... We do...
Randomly yesterday I was looking up Sutton Foster and came across this song. It kind of hit me in the gut. I've never heard it or even knew it existed before yesterday. It's really beautiful. Time may hold in store for us glory or defeat Maybe never more for us, life will seem so sweet Time may change so many things, tides will ebb and flow But wherever fate may lead us always we shall know Come the wild, wild weather, come the wind, come the rain Come the little white flakes of snow, come the joy, come the pain We shall still be together when our life story ends For wherever we chance to go we shall always be friends We may find while we're traveling through the years Moments of joy and love and happiness Reason for grief, reason for tears Come the wild, wild weather if we've lost all we've won We'll remember these words we say till out story is done We may find while we're traveling through the years Moments of joy and love and happiness Reason for grie...
You all know the famous song, but what "momma" didn't tell you that when you become a mom yourself, the worry you'll feel. The crazy thoughts that creep in. The scenarios that make zero sense but yet, you still run them over and over in your head. She couldn't tell you of the immense love that you will feel for your kid. They literally can do nothing wrong and everything they do is just insanely perfect. Even, when they are acting out. She couldn't explain that to you before being a mom yourself because you could never quite understand. She couldn't explain to you that one day, you will question your every move, every action and feel sad. You'll feel like you could, should do more. But what? Life is a HUGE roller coaster. Some days we are on the very top, some days on the bottom, some days scared out of our minds and some days rolling into the safe finish line. Whatever today is for you, I hope you make it through on top.