The new "normal" looks quite different to all of us now huh? Some of us still heading out to work equipped with soap, hand sanitizer, maybe some with gloves, all while making sure to keep our distance as best as we can. Others working from home for the first time ever trying to set up their day in an unfamiliar spot than their normal office work space. Parents trying their best to home school their kids, while juggling working from home OR just juggling every day life. Teachers scrambling to get work on-line for their students. Some simply finding themselves on pause with their jobs, faced with financial uncertainty. We can no longer go to restaurants or the movies, we can't see our loved ones that don't live under our roof. Face-time has become something we do more often now than ever for play dates, holidays and just to see our loved ones faces. It's an intense time in all of our lives. The worry is heavy. The stats are high, the answers are low. We hav...
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Well now, here I am 40. I am not too sure why it's a big deal age. It doesn't feel any different than 39 =) I think it's a big deal because possibly you start to get more clarity of your life when it hits. You start to realize the importance of things. The importance in people who actually show up and the realization that some times regardless of how much YOU may care for others, they simply are too involved with themselves to show up. Live and learn. The people who spent their time with me are who matter most. And ya know what, I am okay with that ! 40 for me was a four day celebration. On my actual birthday my little trio went to the city to the Top of Rock. What an amazing view ! Such a cool thing to do. We had dinner after but then the day was cut short by mother nature. No biggie ! The next day I shopped and then watched the sunset on the beach with my sister, her friend and my guys. Even had cupcakes ! Long Island may be overcrowded, but wow, what a life we hav...
You know how they say sounds or scents can bring you right back to where you were when you heard or smelled that scent??? The other day I heard a song I haven't in a while and realized I have so many of these ! Here are some songs from my time-line that will bring me right back to that moment. Clearly in no particular order. Underneath is All No Doubt reminds me of when I first met my husband Keith Walking on Sunshine when I found out I would be graduating high school, yea it was an iffy moment for me. Not my finest. Life is a Highway Rascal Flats : the day I found out my cousin Kim had cancer this was playing in the church we used to attend, I played it on the way home that day and then we go the call America Pie Don Mclean : probably the only memory I have of my father that isn't awful. We were getting gas, this song was on and he was whistling to it. Cold in the D old T'baby : reminds me of old co workers, on the first of each month we would play this, no...
It was a Thursday morning and I was brushing my teeth getting ready to bring Lil B to school. What seemed like the normal day routine for me was about to go completely south. As I began to scrape my tongue during brushing, I noticed, it was crooked. I wasn't doing it intentionally but every time I stuck out my tongue, I saw the same thing. I proceeded on with my day, kept looking in the mirror to see same thing and just felt off. This was the beginning of a two day process that landed me in the ER the day of Lil B's graduation from pre K. Fast forward to Saturday and my house was filled with family celebrating Lil B, I still felt off and overly emotional. My speech felt odd, like I was grinding/gnashing my teeth when I spoke. When I ate, food would get stuck on side of my teeth and I just kept feeling this dreaded feeling. My sister in law encouraged me to go to the ER. Off my mother in law, sister and law and I went. Once we arrived, they went over my vitals and took one lo...
The other night I went to my dreaded dental appointment and chit chatted with my dentist about kids. (sidebar: Am I really this old that I am talking with others about kids !? LOL) Any how, we talked about how one of his kids will be graduating college and the other finishing their freshman year in college this year. He said to me it goes so, so fast. I replied with the standard, "sure, but some days are quite long right?" He chuckled and said, " yes, but those YEARS just go faster and faster." This got me thinking. I am in the thick of a spicy six year old. It's a constant battle of no patience on both of our ends. Some days I think to myself, "how on earth have I failed here?" I feel like I am in a constant push and pull with him. My husband and I are his playmates. He's in a stage where he would rather have us play a game with him, build with him, play super heroes with him, than play quietly on his own. We don't mind it too much, but we ...
This past summer my world got a bit jostled. I wouldn't say "went upside down," cause I will save that term for darker days. But jostled fits. Things out of the norm happened, changing my entire perspective on life. Maybe one day I will share with the world the grim details, but for now here are my thoughts on something that felt awful but turned quite beautiful. For many years I've always been hesitant to say out in the air how I loved my life, how I loved my surroundings and was happy. Why you might wonder? Because I felt each time I did, something went horribly wrong. The beginning of the summer I was dealing with finalizing preparations for my son's 504/ICHP for his school due to his food allergies. It took six months of emails, meetings and phone conversations. SIX MONTHS. When it was completed, it was almost like my body, my mind and soul just went into shock. This literally forced me to re evaluate so many things around me. It made me see who was in my...
We've looked forward for this day for a long time. We've practiced shapes, numbers, letters, math, spelling, kindness, sharing... the list goes on and on. But I am not ready. My sweet boy, you are about to go off into a world that can be kind and very ugly. I haven't told you of the ugly yet. It's something I hope you never see or experience but know you will. Mom and dad will be here for you every step of the way cheering you on, wiping any tears and loving you forever. First day of Pre K First day of kindergarten His kindergarten photo shoot
I won't sugar coat it... it's exhausting. I wanted to give some insight on what I (we) deal with on a daily basis and maybe many of you who may be reading this. It's better to have a village right? First off, the planning. Lord, the planning. We can not eat at any new restaurant without calling ahead, speaking to the manager, possibly the chef, looking over the menu to find "safe" items, checking to see what may contain nuts that is fried in the same fryer of what our son would eat... There are no more eating places on a whim when it comes to places we go to with our son. Those days are reserved for my husband and I now. We must plan all the time. Any venue (concerts, plays, amusement parks, birthday parties etc.) we attend, we have to think of places that possible nuts might be, bring safe snacks, wipe down any surfaces that seem questionable for traces of nut proteins. We just want our kid to have fun and never be left out. I'd never let him miss...
A recent post that my sister in law wrote on FB got me thinking about this. Everything we seem to say we tend to have this insistent need to censor ourselves. We seem to always have to include a disclaimer on things we know could spark controversy or have someone possibly disagree with our actions. What for? Why can't we just live? I for one, know that people truly can't handle the truth (I do see how I sound like a 90's movie here) or possibly really don't want to hear it. I lived my 20s and most of my 30s in many friendships where I was very truthful with my actions and about theirs, and want to guess where those friendships are now??? It's just not worth it ! People don't like the truth. People like to see pretty pictures of our top hits on the Internet. Then, we take those pictures and manifest them into these grand moments. Moments we are pretty certain happen every day in the lives we view. Then bam ! We feel bad about our OWN lives... We do...
Randomly yesterday I was looking up Sutton Foster and came across this song. It kind of hit me in the gut. I've never heard it or even knew it existed before yesterday. It's really beautiful. Time may hold in store for us glory or defeat Maybe never more for us, life will seem so sweet Time may change so many things, tides will ebb and flow But wherever fate may lead us always we shall know Come the wild, wild weather, come the wind, come the rain Come the little white flakes of snow, come the joy, come the pain We shall still be together when our life story ends For wherever we chance to go we shall always be friends We may find while we're traveling through the years Moments of joy and love and happiness Reason for grief, reason for tears Come the wild, wild weather if we've lost all we've won We'll remember these words we say till out story is done We may find while we're traveling through the years Moments of joy and love and happiness Reason for grie...
You all know the famous song, but what "momma" didn't tell you that when you become a mom yourself, the worry you'll feel. The crazy thoughts that creep in. The scenarios that make zero sense but yet, you still run them over and over in your head. She couldn't tell you of the immense love that you will feel for your kid. They literally can do nothing wrong and everything they do is just insanely perfect. Even, when they are acting out. She couldn't explain that to you before being a mom yourself because you could never quite understand. She couldn't explain to you that one day, you will question your every move, every action and feel sad. You'll feel like you could, should do more. But what? Life is a HUGE roller coaster. Some days we are on the very top, some days on the bottom, some days scared out of our minds and some days rolling into the safe finish line. Whatever today is for you, I hope you make it through on top.
Sure, we've heard that saying in relation to raising kids right? But what about living every day life? Sometimes it does take a village just to get through your every day routine. Most days we don't need extra hands on deck. But then, there are... those days. The ones where from start to finish it's a mess. Where everything goes wrong. When on top of everything going wrong, more bad news arrives. When it "feels" as if everyone else in the world seems to have it all. More than you could ever imagine... Those days is when it takes a village to pull us back up. I've had too many of those days to count. Loneliness creeps in and you find yourself re evaluating everything. Relationships, decisions, friendships, life lines...but then it seems God has a way of putting more hands on deck. More check in calls that didn't happen in the days prior, texts or even social media comments that help you along to make you feel less alone. I see no coincidence there, it...
I never wanted children. I never imagined my life with kids. Sure, there were the "what if" conversations with my husband and the picking of "what if" names... but I never really wanted them. THEN ONE DAY... it hit me. It was almost like a spark that went off, a light that brightened and all I knew is I couldn't wait to see us as parents. We were blessed to conceive quickly and 9 months later, love like I never knew came to us. I've been a "mommy" for about 4 and a half years now. There is no sweeter sound than hearing my son call my name. Sure, parenting is not for the weak of heart. It's tough. It's a constant worry of "am I screwing this up?, will he be okay? Why is this so hard for me and no one else?, and how did I ever love before this tiny person existed?" But man, it's worth those thoughts. My child is my ENTIRE world. Every choice I now make in life reflects back to him and is a conscious effort because of him. My...
Ain't this the truth. This session was quite the amusement; wind, one fiery toddler and a very patient photographer. I truly love how they came out. Many shots that captured us and the love we have for each other. Some people poke fun on why I have many professional pictures taken of Noah or us and that's okay. I want to always remember this time in our lives before he's too big to think we are cool or doesn't want to take them anymore. Here is my family. My love. My world. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did =)
I am sure everyone has asked themselves this once or twice along their life, "Am I good enough?" For me, I ask myself this question weekly. It's hard to just go along course of life without asking this question. Well, for me it is. When I was a kid, I would say I was a considered "nervous nelly". Be it my surroundings that caused my hyper sensitiveness or just my make up. Fast forward to my teenage/early twenty years when it was really just me. "Single" me. This "Beth" was extremely more care free and worried less about consequences/responsibility. She didn't last very long ;) Over the years, I gained more and more responsibility, an awesome husband and now a precious son. Life changes you. Life molds you for sure. But maybe you are who you always were all the way from the start? At 37, I have realized exactly who I am. It took a long time to get here and I am sure I still have more to go.I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I s...