**July 17, 2013
**the farewell episode
I watch Glee, I wouldn't consider myself a "Gleek," but I watch the show. Mostly for the singing but I do understand the story lines through all that singing that I actually watch. I have grown to like it and of course, follow the love story of Finn and Rachel.
I watched the farewell episode last night and I wept. I realized, my tears were not because of the character Finn or the real life actor who overdosed, but because it brought me back to the date I found our this actor died. July 17, 2013. A date that will forever be ingrained in memory for me and my family.
I can remember that morning reading yahoo news on my phone and feeling shocked. I remember thinking how could this actor I knew nothing about, pass away? He seemed so "good" and so "normal." I was sad about since he seemed "good" but then that was that, off to get ready for church we went. I didn't cry last night because of someone I didn't know. I cried because it reminded me of the day I read yahoo news, went to church and then found out my cousin Kim had cancer. What I didn't know then or even fathom to think, was that three short days later, Kim would leave us.
Last night I watched, as I am sure many others did and cried. At one point Mr. B asked, "are you really crying?" and for a few minutes after he asked, I couldn't talk. Yes, I was really crying. But not because of the loss of someone I didn't know, or the acting in the show making the "story" sad. It was because it hit all too close to home for me. There was a scene with the characters mom that just made me so terribly sad. Being a new mom myself, I could feel the words this actress was saying and I could think of how my own aunt must be feeling now. It crushes you. I am not sure how people do go on after losing a child. It's almost one of the mysteries of the world to me. It's not the order that things are supposed to happen and it confuses everything. I don't understand how two young girls can lose their mom and move forward. Again, not the order it's supposed to happen and it confuses everything.
Right right after they sang "Fire and Rain" by James Taylor I began to cry again (as I am now). The most poignant part of the song, that I have always loved stung me so bad last night... "And I always thought I'd see you again"...Well Kimmie, isn't that the truth. But one day, I will, just off this earth, up where our angels live.