Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Goodbye two o one three

Most times, people will say they are happy the year that has passed is now over. Some years, I too, said the same. But I have to admit, this year was wonderful for me/us. It was Lil B's first year of life which proves to me that life is truly beautiful. Lil B makes my dark days brighter. This past summer as my family lost one of our shining lights, he did the same. As we became dim and life looked grim, Lil B helped me see the beauty in life. I know that Kim didn't get to meet Lil B in real life, but I know she has since come to see him. She thought he was beautiful and her comments that live on in our cyber world, will always warm my heart.

2013 had many reasons to be beautiful. I gained a sister in law, a good friend welcomed her first baby girl, my best friend got engaged, we dedicated our son, we celebrated 6 years of marriage, someone I love gave me awesome news about themselves, my mother in law celebrated a monumental birthday, one sister in law received her bachelors and the other her masters, and I got to spend time with family and friends through out the year.

Sure 2013 had some endings and sad news too. I lost some, closed some doors, heard bad news, people I care for became sick and many tears were shed. But this is what makes life exist. 

I look forward to 2014. I hope to see other friends I haven't seen in too long, I hope to feel more relaxed, take some time off, breathe, be happy, help plan my best friends wedding, watch Lil B play and grow in his year two, make others smile and just live.

I wish all the same for you. Enjoy your lives, it's short. We have just a little time here to make it worthwhile.
Here are some recap pictures from my year, including special moments in other people's lives that touched mine too.  Happy New Year everyone.

Friday, December 20, 2013

One beautiful year

Little B turned one on December 6th, this by far, has been the fastest year of my life. And I have to say probably the best year too. Thought it would be fun to share the monthly pictures with whomever reads my blog =). Enjoy ! One to year two ! (or as me and one of my close friends likes to say, "year duece")

Monday, November 11, 2013

It's no secret...

that our bodies can do amazing things. Especially us women. It's also no secret that we are almost suffocated with the image of what the "perfect "woman should look like. Does that person really exist in life without a cook, maid, personal trainer, butler, life coach, plastic surgeon, etc. etc? Who knows. What I do know is this, I have seen beautiful women in my life, many of them. And guess what? They are not what are in those photo-shopped magazines. They are just simply beautiful.

When we make the decision to have a baby, of course we wonder what is going to happen to our bodies? Will we gain 200lbs? We will get stretch marks? Will we be able to lose the weight we gain? And maybe some don't even worry because they are just happy with being pregnant. For me, I was happy to be pregnant. I was overweight to begin with and my first trimester was a doozie. I ended up losing weight then(don't worry I gained it back) But I didn't gain too much because I had so much weight on from the beginning. But guess what, my body still lost control the last month of my pregnancy. Your body does what it needs to do in order to house and nurture that little baby. But after, when it's just you and no more baby, our proud battle wounds are still present. My lil B will be a year in less than a month. My body is not what it was prior to him and guess what, it never will be. Some days it bugs me and some days it doesn't. Today I found this and it really hit home to me. I wanted to share it because it truly is a beautiful way to put our new bodies.

"A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn. One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness. One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me. It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it ugly. That's OK. It was your home. It's where I first grew to love you, where I lay my hand as I dreamed about who you were and who you would be. It held you until my arms could, and for that, I will always find something beautiful in it."

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Party preparation

Lil B will be one on 12/6. Not sure how that happened but my gosh it makes me cry ! Lots of prep has been happening over at our house for his 1st birthday party. We can't wait ! Here are some sneak peaks

Friday, October 11, 2013


**Cory Montieth
**July 17, 2013
**the farewell episode

I watch Glee, I wouldn't consider myself a "Gleek," but I watch the show. Mostly for the singing but I do understand  the story lines through all that singing that I actually watch.  I have grown to like it and of course, follow the love story of Finn and Rachel. 

I watched the farewell episode last night and I wept. I realized, my tears were not because of the character Finn or the real life actor who overdosed, but because it brought me back to the date I found our this actor died. July 17, 2013. A date that will forever be ingrained in memory for me and my family.

I can remember that morning reading yahoo news on my phone and feeling shocked. I remember thinking how could this actor I knew nothing about, pass away? He seemed so "good" and so "normal." I was sad about since he seemed "good" but then that was that, off to get ready for church we went. I didn't cry last night because of someone I didn't know. I cried because it reminded me of the day I read yahoo news, went to church and then found out my cousin Kim had cancer. What I didn't know then or even fathom to think, was that three short days later, Kim would leave us.

Last night I watched, as I am sure many others did and cried. At one point Mr. B asked, "are you really crying?" and for a few minutes after he asked, I couldn't talk. Yes, I was really crying. But not because of the loss of someone I didn't know, or the acting in the show making the "story" sad. It was because it hit all too close to home for me. There was a scene with the characters mom that just made me so terribly sad. Being a new mom myself, I could feel the words this actress was saying and I could think of how my own aunt must be feeling now. It crushes you. I am not sure how people do go on after losing a child. It's almost one of the mysteries of the world to me. It's not the order that things are supposed to happen and it confuses everything. I don't understand how two young girls can lose their mom and move forward. Again, not the order it's supposed to happen and it confuses everything.

Right right after they sang "Fire and Rain" by James Taylor I began to cry again  (as I am now). The most poignant part of the song, that I have always loved stung me so bad last night... "And I always thought I'd see you again"...Well Kimmie, isn't that the truth. But one day, I will, just off this earth, up where our angels live.

Monday, October 07, 2013

Things to get to know me

Figured I'd share some randomness about me, not sure who may be interested by why not.
  1. I cry at every wedding, I am just a true romantic
  2. Manners always matter to me. I love when people say "please" "thank you"
  3. I love snail mail cards. I get super excited when I get them in the mail. I love to see what stamp people used, what mailing label and how they addressed it. Let alone what's inside.
  4. I find NYC magical around Christmas time
  5. I love surprises, but it's hard to actually surprise me
  6. I am the youngest of three girls. My older sisters weren't that bad growing up, they were pretty kind
  7. I work at home, 9-5 M-F and raise my son at the same time
  8. I dream of working for a non profit agency one day
  9. I haven't taken a vacation on a plane in 6 years. (overdue much?)
  10. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday

Thursday, September 05, 2013

Way back when

I do not think I ever shared this bit of information on my blog before, but did you know I grew up in the house we own? My mom left behind a book of pictures of how our house used to be way back when and I thought it would fun to show you a very very before and an after. Ready for some retro cool looks?
This picture is of our current guest room, which used to be my oldest sister's room. Where on earth is that crocheted quilt and dresser now, I'd love to have them !!!
Here is what it currently looks like:
This picture is what my room looked like when I was little. I am pretty sure this was my bed, I shared a room with my other sister, Melissa.
And now it's baby B's room. Here is the same side of the room and what it currently looks like :
Here is an older picture of what our home office looked like when I was little
And what it  currently looks like now: Working at home chaos !!
  Here is a picture of what used to be my parents room. It pretty much stayed similar during the years. Maybe some different paint, curtains or comforter sets but pretty much the same
 And here it is now, our room
Pretty neat right? I guess it's pretty cool that my son's first steps will be where I took mine and so on and so forth. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to live somewhere else, but then the thought just scares me !!  

Friday, August 30, 2013

Happiness, motherhood, anxious, raw emotions ...

A friend of mine said to me last week that she hasn't seen me happy in a long time. It hit to the core. Not because she was being mean, but because she was correct. I feel like I am in a bit of a slump lately.

Things are at it's all time hardest point for me right now. Every avenue of my life, just feels hard.
  1. Our son hasn't mastered the art of sleeping through the night or maybe he doesn't want to, the jury is still out on that... leaving us terribly sleep deprived, going on 9+ months
  2. My job is very hard, we are all doing more work (like the rest of the country) but with less results, leaving us all stressed out, such a shame
  3. I work from home, 40 hours a week, raising our son, and it's just a constant juggling act with no down time. Some days I feel I am neglecting him by having my nose to the grind and other days I just feel like I am spinning my wheels with no results
  4. Money is something that has never been in abundance but now I feel like I need to watch every penny we spend. No more spending just because I can, it's all needs and no longer wants.
  5. I am constantly questioning am I doing the right thing by my son, by my husband or by myself?
Now sure, life is short, I should know this and should be more grateful of what we have and who are in our life. But I just feel like a hamster in a ball, getting no where at all but still running? I get life was never supposed to be easy, but when will it feel less hard?

Friday, July 19, 2013


I began to write a posting on July 17, before we knew what God had planned for our sweet Kim.... Kim was taken home that evening to heaven. My entire family is in shock. As I am writing this, tears are running down my face.... Please sweet Jesus watch over Kim, she is safe now with you and is in no pain. Please watch over our family, heal our hearts as we keep Kim alive within ourselves.:

"I don't have a very large extended family. Some may think it is, but in reality, it's truly not. I have a few aunts, a few uncles and a few cousins. Most live in different states and many times, communication is sparse. But we are all bonded, in an unspoken way. When one of us is in need, we all speak up and rally.

My cousin Kim lives in North Carolina. I have not seen her in "real life" in many years. Maybe the last time was my wedding ? ! But we keep up on each others lives via Facebook. When she recently visited my mom, I was able to see her via Facetime.... Love technology for that....

Over the years I've seen her be the most amazing mother to her two girls. She has been their mom, their friend and their biggest supporter. Kim has a love of baking and would share pictures of her amazing cakes with us on Facebook. She is just an all around amazing person with a huge faith in God.

Well, Kim has cancer. C-a-n-c-e-r.. she is in surgery now to remove her kidney and get more answers on what type, what extent and what the next course is. From my experience, cancer attacks at the most unexpected times. It doesn't warn it's coming, it just becomes present.

I am praying for Kim today. "

Kim and I in 1979... wasn't she beautiful? She still looked exactly the same all these years later. I love you Kim !

Friday, July 12, 2013

Lipstick messages

Yesterday was my birthday. Nothing fabulous. At this point of my age, it's just another year older. Nothing monumental, not a new decade, nothing to go crazy about.... But it got me thinking about when my sisters and I were younger, (and anyone else who may have lived here from time to time) my mom would write lipstick messages on our bathroom mirror. Most of the times it would say "Happy Birthday" to us. And if I was having a terrible week , it would be something encouraging like "I love you, have a great day."

Well, I definitely miss my lipstick messages. I wish when they were written, we had Facebook or Instagram. What a cool thing to have captured.

Here is a picture of what one may have looked like, not ours, but similar.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Noah's dedication

A month later and I've finally gotten around to posting about this amazing day. Originally Mr. B and I wanted to have the dedication at home, but we opted to have it in a restaurant instead. Less clean up, less set up and less stress ! We went to one place and fell in love with it. We booked it on the spot. Here is what it looks like inside, if you know me in real life, you know this is 100% my style.
I looked online for a while to find the right invite. Most websites are pre printed invites that all said "Baptism or Christening".... it was hard to find one that actually said or allowed me to write dedication. I went with the good old staple, Vistaprint. I also designed labels there as well. Below you can see both.
The cake was something I wasn't 100% sold on since we really didn't need one because there was a dessert buffet. But I figured for picture use, it would be good.... hindsight, I have one picture of it !!! Waste of money, although the cake was delicious. I had Audrey's Bakery make it. I sent them an email of a similiar style cake and they recreated it with my son's name and the coloring I wanted.
Here are some more detail shots, starting from top left to right : back of invite, the sign for the restaurant, a bracelet given to Noah from his Godfather and a sign from his grandparents to remember the day.
 We used our awesome photographer that took Noah's newborn pictures and Easter pictures. I didn't want to worry about capturing the day and I knew my camera would not do it justice. She's so very talented and I plan on using her a few more times too. If you are on Long Island, seriously, book her. Jennifer Bennett Photograpy
Here are some more details. I found the framed handprint on Amazon. I was so surprised to find it ! Here is the original company that sells them The Grandparent Co.  My only gripe, which probably wouldn't have happened if Noah was younger, is that the ink was not dark enough. Maybe if he was less alert, like the newborn stage, we could've gotten a better print. Ah, live and learn.
 The chocolate crosses were made by one of our family members. My goodness they were amazing !The white chocolate was my favorite !!
I ordered cookies from Walnut Street Bakers . She is awesome. I have worked with her many times. We met many years ago at a street fair and I have used her ever since ! The cookies were so good and she can make just about any shape of cookie.
 The prints and sign that says "God Bless this Child" both come from Etsy.
The ceremony was done right in front of the fireplace so I was able to decorate the mantle. How perfect are those flowers/plants? I did not bring them ! It just worked out well.
So that's how we celebrated dedication our son. It was an amazing day. Just as I had hoped.

Friday, June 07, 2013

"momma said there would be days like this..."

as did my friends, relatives and everyone else that spoke with me about this topic... They all told me you would not know true love until you had a child. That simple statement really could not hold any more truth. Sure I love Mr. B., and he loves me, but the love we feel for Lil B is something we can not begin to measure. I simply look at him and can bust. This past weekend was his dedication. I think this picture simply shows you exactly how we feel. We love him so very much.
Happy Friday people, hope you have an amazing weekend !
PS Photo credit from the one and only Jennifer Bennett Photography !!!  http://www.jbennettphotography.com/

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Stressed blessed

Strange title right? Let me explain. Over the weekend we put our a/c on in our bedroom and it smelled disgusting. We call for service, being the planner I am, we of course have a service contract... So they come to service it and they tell me it needs to be taken out of the wall for two week to be cleaned etc. etc..... LONG story short we need a new a/c, this one is shy of three years old and the old service contract I paid in full for, is now gone with the unit. New a/c = new service contract =  more $ spent....

So this stressed me out.

We also have a lot of things happening in the next few months. We have three monumental birthdays coming up for loved ones, a bridal shower to celebrate, a baby being born, a wedding, our son's dedication, Father's day, Memorial day and house guests coming to stay with us ... all which we need $ to purchase gifts, outfits or items for...

So this stressed me out.

Then, I sat back and thought about it. I realized how truly BLESSED we are. What problems we have lol ! Too many friends and family to celebrate our lives and their lives with???!!! An a/c in every room in a our home !  Our home, large enough to host our friends ! Come on now, are these really issues? Are these really things to stress me out? I think it's time I see these are my blessings and not as stressful things.

 And just like that, bam ! I did.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Overnight magic

It's like it happened overnight. Some how, some way, I learned Lil B's non verbal ques. A friend once told me that I would get to know them soon enough, I believed her, but really had no idea what she was talking about in the beginging. But now, I now can tell you what each cry, fuss, or laugh mean... Yes, he has different laughs ! And he gets the hiccups just like his momma when he laughs a lot.  It is pretty mind blowing when it happens, it really felt like it was overnight.

Lil B is 5 1/2 months and every single day he amazes me. I just love him so. Here is a pic from our weekend. Love these two so much.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

My very 1st Mother's Day

It was nothing special, but amazingly relaxing and shared with our moms too. Here are some pictures from my day.
Someone has a prezzie for me !!!!

It's his birthstone !!! How did he know I wanted this lol ???!!!

Here was my original plan, because of this pin on Pinterest... Clearly I could not wear them all, I couldn't bend my finger  !!! So back to be re sized it went for my right hand. Not a big deal, live and learn !

Here's my love giving me my card on Mother's Day...
and he wrote in it. Do you see that "capital A?" The kid is a genius !!

I received tons of cards from everyone. So blessed !

My mom got me this super cool book. So many great ideas in it. I have saved tons of the pages.

My mother in law peaked my blog and purchased me this pillow with our wedding date on it. She also got me crystal salt and pepper shakers I had wanted. So awesome !
Mr. B was going to cook for us, but I said no way, just order pizza. So we had an Italian pizza party. Here's a peak of the casual table I set.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Some of my favorite outfits for Lil B so far

I just love dressing Lil B. I can not handle it. Here are five of my faves... He is so stylish
When he was a wee 1 month old !



Friday, April 19, 2013

A lil cut out can make a BIG difference

 Our home was originally a ranch home that was then dormered. Our  downstairs hallway has always felt like a long hallway to bedrooms, because, that is what it used to be ! I have wanted to make a cut out "window" since we purchased our home 4 years ago so it was long over due. This past weekend, we finally did it ! Here is a picture frame of the progression of the hallway. First picture  (top left) was with carpet, second (top right) was when we installed tile, third (bottom left) a different piece of furniture at the end of hallway and then the fourth (bottom right) the fabulous cut out (and different furniture again lol.)

The transformation over the years...

Here are some views of the new and improved hallway

I love it so much, it makes me happy every morning when I come down to make my morning coffee. Seriously, it's the little things.